I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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