Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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