My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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