sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There r osticjed everywhere
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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