Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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