Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize