At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Houston, we have a squirter
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize