i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize