fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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