no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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