Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize