Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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