quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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