Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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