my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize