I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize