he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
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once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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