He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize