And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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