They should really pass out barf bags in church
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize