so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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