maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
And then he peed in my hair
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