The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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