Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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