Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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