Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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