im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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