McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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