You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
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Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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