real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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