can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also, beer. Big fan.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize