He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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