do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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