i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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