i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize