hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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