You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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