why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize