It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize