Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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