Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize