i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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