Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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