do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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