Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize