I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
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you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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