I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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