so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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