A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
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I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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