My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
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I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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