Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize